Tuesday, June 23, 2009

where the road goes from here

Summertime, and our house is cleaner then normal... Kinda goes against the laws of nature! I always forget (until summertime finally rolls around again) how much I really enjoy being home. The school year for us is always such a chaotic whirlwind or commuting kids to school, work, after school sports, play dates, meetings... I really love the slower pace the summer offers us and the chance to recommit to the house. During the school year our family spend very little time home. I once figured out how much we pay per day to live here, and was appalled at how little we use it for that cost. By the end of the summer, I often feel stressed and burned out from the long hours, but for now, I am loving it! We have a great schedule that involves my kids sitting down in the morning and doing school work, some tv/video game time and pool time almost daily. the only commitment we have is tae kwon do, and that schedule is flexible. Every summer morning I wake up questioning my decision to go back to work in the fall. I am having a really hard time with this. The main reason I work is to pay for Vans preschool cost. We love the preschool he attends, and we have been there for 6 (going on 7) years. The teachers have changed very little and our family is comfortable there. Last year, I worked really hard and made no take home money above and beyond tuition. It makes me feel like C is suffering as a result. She is on no schedule and gets no naps most days. I love the job in the fact that my kids are right there and I dont miss anything they are doing, but hate having to take my baby into a classroom full of snotty kids. so here we stand, and I have a choice to make. if I stop working, Van stops going to preschool. He thrives on being busy and having lots of people around him. How long will it take for him to settle in to a less busy, quieter routine. His b-day is a late Sept. one. Do I pay for 1 more year of preschool then send him off to school at age 4 to be the youngest kid in his class? Do I pull him out of preschool for this year, then re-send him the next? I feel almost guilty pulling him away from his (wonderful) group of friends, but I know when we move in 2 years I will have those same feelings with all the kids.
Its time to sit down and focus on things that are really important and try to figure out what is going to work best for us at this time. This next school year is going to be one of many changes as John starts rotations and will be gone out of state for almost half of this next year. It reminds me of my favorite poem, the road not taken....

I just want to be able to look back on these next 2 years and KNOW that I did what was best for van, and honestly, I just don't know what that is yet...


  1. It is so hard to know what to do. Do they offer a scholarship that maybe Van could take advantage of? That was probably a dumb question on my part...I am sure you have looked into that.

  2. I don't recommend sending him to kindergarten if he is only 4. He will be so much better off the rest of his school career if he goes with the maturity that comes from being 5, especially since he is a boy. I hope my professional advice is helpful, I just know from what I see each day in my job.